Janine and I celebrated the arrival of Marlo with a special dinner from Attica again. It was such a merry night we talked for about six hours nonstop, no doubt helped along by the delicious cocktails I had ordered. We were so enthusiastic we didn’t even take any photos of the food! We enjoyed it immensely again and could send a photo to the parents testifying to’ wetting the baby’s’ head in style’! Not used to really late nights and socialising anymore.Ha Ha!
I have had an almost lazy week. I have felt tired. I have still attended my Zoom gym sessions which energised me for a while. My Polio eradication challenge is nearing its end and I have upped the kilometres walked every day so that I will meet my goal of 120 kms in October. The Route 66 virtual challenge is also nearing its end as well. The extra walking feels good but is probably the cause of the tiredness. Hopefully many Covid restrictions will also be ending. The heaviness of people’s frustrations has contributed to my tiredness.
As a result I have done little of consequence this week. Not even art. I just felt I needed to let a few things slide and go slow. I have noticed all the groups picnicking in the park and wondered why I am not organising such gatherings myself? I used to be so eager for company. All this tramping the streets, listening to podcasts in French (part of my immersion program), or interesting interviews and book reviews has not made me feel lonely. On the contrary I feel at peace and comfortable in my own company.
I was always a purist when walking and declined the distraction of headphones to better appreciate my surroundings. However walking the same streets every day eventually required some extra diversions. I have found they have not prevented me from being aware of the fragrance of roses and jasmine or other unidentifiable but sweet aromas drifting over fences; nor observing that rise bushes are laden with blooms and trees are losing their blossoms and becoming fully dressed in bright green leaves. Birds are singing and swooping. It is Spring and I feel uncharacteristically content in my solitude.
The dentist repaired my broken tooth but I still need a mouth guard and the cheap one I have been using is not comfortable to sleep in so I decided to get the custom fit one after all from the dentist. I am sure I will sleep better and feel more rested. Instead of travelling this year I have had the journey of renovating my teeth!
I have had some lovely Zoom session catch ups with friends but they are not all the time and I have started to feel like life has a rhythm similar to how I lived when my husband was alive. We had quiet times together and regular but not necessarily weekly, social interactions. We each had time for our personal interests and enjoyed our social life but we weren’t frantic. We had the benefit of a deep loving relationship with each other and our children that filled all the spaces in our life. This quieter life resulted from his declining health, yet it had a richness and warmth that was like a much loved and well worn coat. After he died I felt adrift and filled my life with work and activities. I travelled for extended times. I gained a lot of confidence, made new friends, I socialised a lot and found a new happy. I was never shy and still can talk under water if given a chance but I am not craving company as I once did. It has only taken 11 years, three and a half Caminos, and CoVid to find that peace again. A bit of a slow learner!
As my life evolves I appreciate the lessons I didn’t even know I had learned doing those long walks. Someone asked me how I was going and I surprised myself by stating almost emphatically that I was fine, but really tired of people whinging about the restrictions. The end of tight restrictions are coming and I think we need to look forward and focus now on how we are going to manage life with CoVid bubbling around. We do not want the resurgence that is occurring in Europe and the UK. But I digress. I have come to enjoy my quieter life, my less stimulated environment. There seems more room for nature. I appreciate not rushing. I am not busy in my head all the time. It is not unlike – you guessed it- doing a Camino!